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The Official Jokes Thread
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<blockquote data-quote="James" data-source="post: 115261" data-attributes="member: 2"><p>Master Card Wedding </p><p>You got to love this guy... </p><p>This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at ClemsonUniversity. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.</p><p></p><p>It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.</p><p></p><p></p><p>After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.</p><p></p><p></p><p>He especially wanted to thank the bride's family and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.</p><p></p><p>As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.</p><p></p><p>So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.</p><p></p><p>He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.</p><p></p><p>Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.</p><p></p><p>The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.</p><p></p><p>After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he </p><p>turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'</p><p></p><p>Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'</p><p></p><p>He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.</p><p></p><p>While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.</p><p></p><p>His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.</p><p></p><p>This guy has balls the size of church bells.</p><p></p><p>Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?</p><p></p><p>Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000</p><p></p><p>Wedding photographs commemorating the </p><p>Occasion: $3,000</p><p></p><p>Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodation in Maui: $8,500.</p><p></p><p>The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. </p><p></p><p>There are some things money can't buy, </p><p>for everything else there's MASTERCARD </p><p></p><p></p><p>A Mastercard Wedding </p><p></p><p>'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow......'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="James, post: 115261, member: 2"] Master Card Wedding You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at ClemsonUniversity. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!' Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.' He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000 Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000 Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodation in Maui: $8,500. The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD A Mastercard Wedding 'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow......' [/QUOTE]
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