Forums
New posts
Search forums
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Peezy" data-source="post: 119232" data-attributes="member: 1090"><p><span style="color: #333333">On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">years and I'll give you back the other ten?"</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">And God saw it was good.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">twenty-year life span."</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">And God, again saw it was good.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">give you a life span of sixty years."</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">And God agreed it was good.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">the front porch and bark at everyone.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Life has now been explained to you.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">front porch.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Peezy, post: 119232, member: 1090"] [COLOR=#333333]On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]years and I'll give you back the other ten?"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]And God saw it was good.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]twenty-year life span."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]And God, again saw it was good.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]give you a life span of sixty years."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]And God agreed it was good.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]the front porch and bark at everyone.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Life has now been explained to you.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]front porch.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
Top