Forums
New posts
Search forums
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Peezy" data-source="post: 119728" data-attributes="member: 1090"><p><span style="color: #333333">Marriage Humour ……….</span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife: 'What are you doing?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Husband: Nothing. </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">------------------------------- </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife: 'Yes or no.' </span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet... Why?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">-------------------------------------------------------- </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Stress Reliever </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Girl: 'We ll that's because we aren't married yet.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">------------------------------ </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">________________________________ </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">------------------------------------------------------------ </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">------------------------------- </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!' </span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Husbands are husbands </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #333333">A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Head with a frying pan. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">'What was that for?' the man asked. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">it that I found in your pants pocket'. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">of the horse I bet on' </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">The wife apologized and went on with the housework. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Peezy, post: 119728, member: 1090"] [COLOR=#333333]Marriage Humour ……….[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife: 'What are you doing?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Husband: Nothing. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]------------------------------- [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife: 'Yes or no.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet... Why?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]-------------------------------------------------------- [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Stress Reliever [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Girl: 'We ll that's because we aren't married yet.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]------------------------------ [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]________________________________ [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]------------------------------------------------------------ [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]------------------------------- [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Husbands are husbands [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Head with a frying pan. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]'What was that for?' the man asked. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]it that I found in your pants pocket'. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]of the horse I bet on' [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]The wife apologized and went on with the housework. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
Top
