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<blockquote data-quote="PALMER84ONE" data-source="post: 165753" data-attributes="member: 6">Let's Piss Off EveryoneI'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn &amp; a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you're still black'.Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that!Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I'm going to take that.'Man in a hot air balloon is lost overIowa. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, where am I? The farmer looks back up and shouts back. You're in a basket, stupid!I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair?Fijiwas the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently &quot;Blacks&quot; and &quot;Mexicans&quot; were NOT the correct answers.I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="PALMER84ONE, post: 165753, member: 6"] Let's Piss Off Everyone I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.' A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'. I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you're still black'. Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that! Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best! Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed. I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I'm going to take that.' Man in a hot air balloon is lost overIowa. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, where am I? The farmer looks back up and shouts back. You're in a basket, stupid! I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair?Fijiwas the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country? I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers. [B]I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.[/B] [/QUOTE]

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