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The Official Jokes Thread
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<blockquote data-quote="rezrider" data-source="post: 37817" data-attributes="member: 79"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">DID YOU KNOW THAT........</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> animal is punishable by death.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Like THAT makes sense.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Do they look different reversed?)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> with a brick or piece of wood at all times.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (A brick?)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Much worse than 'going blind!')</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> and deflower young virgins,who pay them for the privilege of having</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> sex for the first time</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Let's just think for a minute; is thereany job any where else in the</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> world that even comes close to this?)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> manner desired.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Ah! Justice!)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> tropical fish stores.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (But of course!)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> the act.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> woman and her daughter at the same time.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> consumption on the premises.'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Is this a great country or what?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Well,.... not as great as Guam !)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Who volunteers for these tests?)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (From drinking little bottles of ???)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Did our government pay for this research??)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Butterflies taste with their feet..</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (Ah, geez.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (I know some people like that.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Starfish don't have brains.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (I know some people like that, too.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> *~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> And, the best for last?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> Turtles can breathe through their butts.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">> (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rezrider, post: 37817, member: 79"] [FONT=Arial]DID YOU KNOW THAT........[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> animal is punishable by death.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Like THAT makes sense.)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Do they look different reversed?)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> with a brick or piece of wood at all times.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (A brick?)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Much worse than 'going blind!')[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> and deflower young virgins,who pay them for the privilege of having[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> sex for the first time[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Let's just think for a minute; is thereany job any where else in the[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> world that even comes close to this?)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> manner desired.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Ah! Justice!)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> tropical fish stores.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (But of course!)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> the act.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> woman and her daughter at the same time.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> consumption on the premises.'[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Is this a great country or what?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Well,.... not as great as Guam !)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Who volunteers for these tests?)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (From drinking little bottles of ???)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Did our government pay for this research??)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Butterflies taste with their feet..[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (Ah, geez.)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (I know some people like that.)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Starfish don't have brains.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (I know some people like that, too.)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> *~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> And, the best for last?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> Turtles can breathe through their butts.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]> (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)[/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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