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The Official Jokes Thread
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<blockquote data-quote="Rack" data-source="post: 42541" data-attributes="member: 4"><p><em><span style="color: navy">1. When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good memory... </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> I don't remember, what I chose.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'No hard feelings....'</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men: </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> '<strong>don't' </strong>and <strong>'stop'</strong>, unless they are used together.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">8. Virginity can be cured.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p> <em><span style="color: navy">9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">10. Having sex is like playing bridge. </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> A: Breasts don't have eyes.</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy">17. Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'. </span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: navy"> Many men still sleep with their wives!!</span></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rack, post: 42541, member: 4"] [I][COLOR=navy]1. When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good memory... I don't remember, what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'No hard feelings....' 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men: '[B]don't' [/B]and [B]'stop'[/B], unless they are used together. 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. 7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. 8. Virginity can be cured. 9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. 10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small... 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under. 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing...... 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't. 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. 17. Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'. Many men still sleep with their wives!![/COLOR][/I] [/QUOTE]
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