Forums
New posts
Search forums
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="bobkyle2" data-source="post: 57443" data-attributes="member: 579"><p>Windows vs Ford </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. </p><p></p><p></p><p>At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.' </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating: </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash ..........Twice a day. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love the next one!!! </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bobkyle2, post: 57443, member: 579"] Windows vs Ford For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.' In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating: If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash ..........Twice a day. 2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light. I love the next one!!! 7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off. PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
Top