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The Official Jokes Thread
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<blockquote data-quote="jackson409" data-source="post: 65231" data-attributes="member: 381"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Man calls 911 and says, “I think my wife is dead.” </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The operator says how do you know? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">He says, “The sex is the same but the laundry is piling up!”</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I said, “You're pulling my leg.”</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A wife says to her husband, “You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back.” He says, “What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.”</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You're obviously not listening.”</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.</span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jackson409, post: 65231, member: 381"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]Man calls 911 and says, “I think my wife is dead.” [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS] [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]The operator says how do you know? [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS] [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]He says, “The sex is the same but the laundry is piling up!” [/FONT] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [FONT=Comic Sans MS]I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS] [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]I said, “You're pulling my leg.”[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A wife says to her husband, “You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back.” He says, “What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.” -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You're obviously not listening.”[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS]----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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