Forums
New posts
Search forums
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="James" data-source="post: 91736" data-attributes="member: 2"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">A Newfoundland man is drinking in a Fort McMurray Alberta bar</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">when he gets a call on his cell phone.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">He orders drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">wife has just produced a typical</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099"> Newfoundland</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">baby boy weighing 25</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">pounds.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">the Newfoundlander just shrugs, "That's about average</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">folks...like I said - my boy's a typical</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099"> Newfoundland</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">baby boy."</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">Two weeks later the Newfoundlander returns to the bar.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099"> Newfoundland</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin'</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">bets about how big he'd be in two weeks ... so how much does he weigh now?"</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">The proud father answers, " Seventeen pounds".</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What happened? </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">He was 25 pounds the day he was born."</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">The</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099"> Newfoundland</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">father takes a slow swig from his Molson's beer,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p><strong><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099"><strong>" Had him circumcised ". </strong></span></span></span></p><p></strong><p style="text-align: center"> </p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">God Bless</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099"> Newfoundland</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 19px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000099">!!!</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="James, post: 91736, member: 2"] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]A Newfoundland man is drinking in a Fort McMurray Alberta bar[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]when he gets a call on his cell phone.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]He orders drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]wife has just produced a typical[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] Newfoundland[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]baby boy weighing 25[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]pounds.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]the Newfoundlander just shrugs, "That's about average[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]folks...like I said - my boy's a typical[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] Newfoundland[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]baby boy."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]Two weeks later the Newfoundlander returns to the bar.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] Newfoundland[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]bets about how big he'd be in two weeks ... so how much does he weigh now?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]The proud father answers, " Seventeen pounds".[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What happened? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]He was 25 pounds the day he was born."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]The[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] Newfoundland[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]father takes a slow swig from his Molson's beer,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [B][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099][B]" Had him circumcised ". [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][/B][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]God Bless[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] Newfoundland[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099]!!![/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=19px][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Off Topic
Off Topic Discussions
The Official Jokes Thread
Top
