The Official Jokes Thread
- Thread starter James
- Start date
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night...
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
(you are going to love this..)
" What's for dinner, Zorro?"
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night...
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
(you are going to love this..)
" What's for dinner, Zorro?"
I really hope that this person is neutered. 
Stupid people shouldn't breed!
Tbh I had 2! i got a better deal when my work was admired by others!!
I was talking about not complaining at home...
TIMBUKTU
A Poetry Competition was held in the Baton Rouge had come down to two finalists;
A) An LSU graduate.
VS
B) Boudreaux.
They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the word.
The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.
First to recite his poem was the LSU graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu
The crowd went crazy !. No way could Boudreaux top that, they thought.
Boudreaux calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;
Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three hoes in a pop up tent
They were three, and we were two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .
Boudreaux won.
A Poetry Competition was held in the Baton Rouge had come down to two finalists;
A) An LSU graduate.
VS
B) Boudreaux.
They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the word.
The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.
First to recite his poem was the LSU graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu
The crowd went crazy !. No way could Boudreaux top that, they thought.
Boudreaux calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;
Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three hoes in a pop up tent
They were three, and we were two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .
Boudreaux won.
How I Learned To Mind My Own Buisness
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were chanting, "13, 13, 13..." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14, 14, 14..."
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were chanting, "13, 13, 13..." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14, 14, 14..."